The Question That Changed Their Shlichus: Rabbi Peretz & Chanie Chein

The Question That Changed Their Shlichus: Rabbi Peretz & Chanie Chein

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“What change am I having in their lives?" Because when you ask yourself, "What change am I having in their lives?", then you have to confront, “Maybe I'm not.” - Rabbi Peretz Chein

“It's not enough that I ask students to do something about their Judaism. What am I doing about my own Judaism?” - Rebbetzin Chanie Chein

Produced by: Gary Waleik & Shneur Brook for Lubavitch International/Lubavitch.com - A Project of Machne Israel

Available on all major podcast platforms - and online at Lubavitch.com/podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

I remember the moment that Friday night at Shabbos Dinner.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

That's Rabbi Perret's Hein. He and his wife Kani are Chabad emissaries at Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

And I remember the tables all in front of us filled with, you know, just leftover plates and stuff, looking at all that and saying something is not working here.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

It wasn't really the post-meal mess that the Khanes found so distressing. It was the growing sense that they hadn't figured out how to reach their students to educate and inspire them rather than just serve them delicious meals.

SPEAKER_05 0:37

Serving Shabbat dinners and having students say how wonderful you are and what a great job you're doing and posting on social media how they love Chabad and how great Chabad is, that could prevent you from actually paying attention to say what change am I having in their lives? Because when you ask yourself what change am I having in their lives, then you have to confront, maybe I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Khani says that led to even more questions.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

What am I doing about my own Judaism? And we said something is going on that deserves greater exploration.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

I'm Gary Wallach, and this is Lamplighters, stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. Life as a Chabad emissary is often joyous, but it can be unpredictable and even dangerous. Chabad has become a ubiquitous presence in every corner of the world. But behind every Chabad house are emissaries, regular people striving to transcend their circumstances and a community that supports and relies on them. These are their stories. Back to our story in a moment. But first, I'd like to tell you about a great opportunity. You can partner with lamplighters in sharing stories of Chabad emissaries doing amazing work all over the world. Please consider dedicating an episode. You can email us at podcast at lubavic.com to explore dedication opportunities. That's podcast at lubavitch.com. You can also let us know how we're doing and about the schluchem you think we should consider for upcoming episodes. Please rate and review Lamplighters to make it easier for other podcast listeners to find us. Lamp Lighters is a project of Machne Israel, the social services arm of Chabad Lubavitch. Khani Khain lived all of her early years in Crown Heights.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

I'm the oldest of eight and went to the traditional Chabad schools, basrifka.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Her parents weren't official Schluchem, but I grew up Chabad and didn't know anything else. Khani knew by the time she was in high school that she wanted to be a Schlucha of the Rebbe. She also realized that she had a creative side.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

There was a very refreshing independence and expansiveness that I had not experienced before.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

A little later in life, that expansiveness would serve her well.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

And in the Soviet Union, they were part of the underground Chabad community.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

When he was 14, Peretz left for Yeshiva in Israel and finished his studies in Paris and back in Brooklyn. In 1999, he earned rabbinic ordination at the Smicha Institute in Melbourne. He had done Merkel Schlichus in Australia, Germany, Belgium, Paris, and in the US. When he was younger, he had dreamed of a lucrative career in law.

SPEAKER_05 4:38

And then in my teenage years, while in Yeshiva, I was exposed in a deeper way to Chasidis, the Rebbe and Schlichus. And here I had the opportunity with the education that I had to share it with others. Although I will say some members of my family said to me, Well, when you grow up, you'll change your mind. Why do you think they said that? Because they were aware of the hardship of Schlichus.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

I think also they assumed you'd be a really, really good lawyer.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

You're just working in a slightly different branch of law right now, that's all. Yes. So you met in the summer of 1999. You married the following January. Tell me about the process that led you to figuring out where you would go out on Schlichas.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

The process seems like there indeed is a clear process. It's a couple like us just deeply desiring to go, and you kind of put out feelers.

SPEAKER_05 5:35

I mean, you just look around, you ask around, and both of us not having grown up on Schlichas didn't have those family connections in the world of Schlichas. So we had a number of interviews for a number of places, but none of them panned out, weren't a good fit for us.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

And then the Khanes heard of an opportunity, Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts. On the one hand, Brandeis had a large Jewish community. On the other hand, they weren't sure if there'd be financial support. But staunch philanthropist and Chabad supporter George Rohr stepped up with seed money to cover their first three years, and Machna Israel also provided a major grant. A visit in 2001 sealed the deal.

SPEAKER_05 6:20

We came to campus, we walked around for 35 minutes and said, All right, we're coming.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

It was a new frontier. There were very few Chabada on campuses then, and we got excited about the idea of working with young adults.

SPEAKER_05 6:34

And then we arrived a few months later with our stuff and informed the administration that we're here. And I'd say more terrified than excited.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Those were emotions many Schluchem experience when they arrived for the first time to the place they've committed to for life. But the Khanes were also dealing with resistance. Some students and even the administration questioned why they were there.

SPEAKER_05 7:26

There is no need for Chabad. At Brandeis, the resources exist. There's a wonderful Jewish community, there's a kosher cafeteria, there's a schedule that is supportive of Jewish holidays. So what's the need for? What are you offering that isn't already here?

SPEAKER_02 7:43

The chain sensed that acceptance would take time. So they began where most Schluchem do.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

A place for students to experience Shabbos in a family environment. You offer students a family, you offer students home-cooked food. There are inspiring words, there's humor, there's song. It's a two, three hour experience. And so that quickly, quickly gathered momentum and also eased some of our anxiety of, oh, look, it's working. The students are coming, they're coming back, and they're coming with friends.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

I mean, within three years, we created deep connections which really gave that sense of support and validation to what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03 8:27

But the anxiety that also began to build at this time was not just about are we necessary at brandis.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

In just three years, the Ghanes had taken on more responsibilities, raising children, keeping up with alumni, and fundraising, which for campus Schluchem is challenging because most of their financial support doesn't come from students themselves. The Ghanes maintained their energy and idealism, but there was also a lot more stress. And then, just a few years into their work at Brandeis, there was a pivotal moment.

SPEAKER_05 9:06

It was December 2006. That Friday night at Shabbos dinner, and I remember the tables all in front of us filled with, you know, just leftover plates and stuff, looking at all that and saying, something is not working here.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

The Khanes were having a hard time planning for Shabbos meals because there were so many late walk-ins, many of whom would save seats for friends who might or might not show up. The Khanes shared their frustrations with fellow Schluchum. Khani says some of her colleagues told her that she should simply accept her role as the Rebbe's caterer. Then exactly one student showed up for a class Rabbi offered.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

And parents and I looked at each other and we said, hmm. Schluchas cannot just be about Shabbos dinners. They're obviously easy and accessible and wonderful. However, if only one person comes to class to learn about a subject, there's a gap.

SPEAKER_05 10:06

Serving Shabbat dinners and having students say how wonderful you are and what a great job you're doing, and posting on social media how they love Chabad and how great Chabad is could prevent you from actually paying attention to say what change am I having in their lives? Maybe I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

So the Khanes brainstormed and they realized they needed to make a change.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

And we came up with this idea of a learning program that would offer a wide range of topics that no one can say, well, this topic isn't interesting for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

By the fall of 2007, the Ghanes had developed a new curriculum that offered 12 classes a week on 12 different topics. Now every student could find something they felt was relevant to them.

SPEAKER_05 10:53

And we gave it a name, we called it iLearn, and we asked students to pay a fee. It was a $25 one-time fee. And then we also said that Shabbat dinners alternate between participants in iLearn and the rest of the student body, making the point that the Shabbat's dinner is about the learning experience, is about the growing experience.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

The Heines stuck to their principles, not knowing how students would respond. But iLearn worked.

SPEAKER_05 11:22

And that first semester, close to 100 students joined.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

A play on RSVP.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

So it was a revolutionary technological RSVP system.

SPEAKER_05 11:51

We designed an online platform that allows students in advance of Shabbos to choose the table where they're sitting at, see who else is sitting there, and in that way elevate the expectation that when you come to Shabbos dinner, you offer us the dignity of letting us know that you're coming. So that they become aware that there's work that goes into this dinner. There were some students who made the claim that this is not Chabad. Chabad is meant to be welcoming and open to everybody. You are undermining what Chabad is about. So we make so our response was that this is what Chabad is about, and it is welcoming to everybody because everyone is welcome to join.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

The chains demanded agency in other ways. They asked students to write short essays on Jewish topics when signing up for Shabbat dinners. They asked them to help set up and to help clean up afterward.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

And so by us choosing to change our Shabbat's dinner, I was inviting students to step into a much more intentional space. And for that, I would be overjoyed to prepare food for. And so it began to build a community here that has greater intentionality, that has a certain spirit of learning and a certain maturity. So we began to become less concerned that if we ask something of students, they're not going to come. And it was very clear that those who engaged with us in the learning classes as well, not they went to create intentional, mature, curious Jewish spaces and lives.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Over the next decade or so, the Khanes adapted the program as new students, armed with new technologies, came and went with each graduation cycle. And the Khanes saw that the model they had developed could apply to anybody.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

It's not enough that I asked students to do something about their duties, and what am I doing about my own Judaism?

SPEAKER_05 13:51

And therefore, we should also be doing the inner exploration for ourselves within ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

The Khanes aren't ashamed to admit that they were feeling overwhelmed, even a little burnt out. That's not something you hear from Schluchem very often. But the Khanes say they needed to be as honest with themselves as they had been with their students.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

And if we're so devoted to Schluchas, how come some mornings we're absolutely exhausted by it? And so we avoid those questions. One of the dynamics that contribute to feeling overwhelmed or disconnected or burnt out is the feeling of stuckness. No, I can't change it, or I don't have time for change in my life. This space of stuckness is, and this is what we say is mitrayim. It's gallows, but when we neglect our nishamas and we neglect our inner conversations and neglect our thoughts, we experience burnout. And while we relish the quiet, we also began to sense a deep opportunity to reconnect with alumni.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

So the Heines created Zoom conversations with them to discuss what was going on in their lives post-graduation.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

And a cascade of thoughts and emotions and questions and joys and pain just burst forward. It was very, very powerful. We learned that it is scary to reflect on your life, yet at the same time, people crave it. But there is no space that they feel can hold a productive reflection and one done with trust and dignity. Now we saw alumni doing it successfully, and we said something is going on that deserves greater exploration. I think what the alumni experience showed me is that everyone desires to reflect.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

The Khan's approach began to resonate. A Chabad rabbi in a big mid-Atlantic Jewish community invited the Khanes to work with them. The Khanes realized that they needed their own teachable program model that could expand, grow, and be universally adaptable. So the Khanes reached out to Stephen Markowitz, one of their teachers, in a program they took through the Institute for Experiential Jewish Learning called M2.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

And we asked him to help us make sense of what we developed in the alumni experience.

SPEAKER_05 16:37

And started developing a framework with which to continue these conversations and these explorations.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Their new program would combine modern consultancy techniques with the ancient art of the Far Brangan, the Hasidic heart-to-heart gathering, promoting camaraderie, spiritual inspiration, and positive life changes. It's based on the Lubavicha Rebbe's last mimer, Vyata Tatsave, which he gave over in 1992. It describes how a Jew has the ability to reveal the divine presence in this world. The Khanes called it M54.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

The M stands for the word magic. The number 54 is made up of three times chai, three times 18. And the idea being that when one chai, when one person engages with another chai, with another person in a meaningful deep way, a new chai, a third 18, emerges. Because this type of learning is most effective in a relational way with others. Fundamentally, what a Fabrangen is.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

For four months, cohorts of six to ten Schluchem, the men led by parrots, the women by Khani, join a weekly one and a half hour Zoom meeting for interactions, questions, and discussion. Cohorts meet a few weeks into the program for an in-person retreat. Early in the program, the Khanes were able to acknowledge an important truth.

SPEAKER_05 18:44

Khsidis is mystical, esoteric, philosophical ideas to integrate into your life. That integration, though, each one meets to do it personally. We found that Schluchem and Schluchis lack this process. It was striking.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Subject after subject in high school and seminary and in yeshiva, you learning the subject, learning the subject, but how is it settling into you? What do you do with it?

SPEAKER_05 19:07

And what we're trying to do is to demonstrate Avaida Phnemis as something real and relevant and offer a system of how to do it.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

And so this allows the Schlochem and Schluchis to really own this work of Avaida Phnemis so that when this process is over, they have it.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

That's Rabbi Avi Booket, co-director, along with his wife Luna, of the Center for Jewish Life, which serves Arlington and Belmont, Massachusetts.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

We went out optimistic, we were young, and we were very excited. And we still are excited, but ten years later it has a different feel to it.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

The Bookets have been very successful in their work. There's now a weekly minion in Arlington, and they're looking to build a new Chabad house. They've inspired many young people to take on Shabbos observance and even to study in yeshiva.

SPEAKER_04 20:12

And that brings joy.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

But Rabbi Booket says they've also experienced some cognitive dissonance.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

The challenges are many. Obviously, the challenge of fundraising, the challenge of getting buy-in from the community. And Boston has a very strong secular culture, academic culture, a hard shell of Judaism going back in secular Jewish America over a hundred years.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

That created a twofold problem for Booket. On the one hand, many Jews in his community were resistant to making contact. Conversely, many of those who were engaged at the Center for Jewish Life often didn't respect privacy boundaries. He kept his frustration inside.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

I felt like I was losing the plot. The excitement and fervor that I had 10 years ago, I was losing that.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Fortunately for the Bookets, they already knew the chains who live and work just a couple of towns over. The Bookett signed up for M54 in 2023.

SPEAKER_04 21:16

Right away, what struck me was that I was not alone in these challenges. All of a sudden, you're sitting and fabringing and talking and going through workshops with these colleagues, some of them much older than me, some of them a little younger than me, but we were all going through the same challenges. And Kani and Perrops did such an amazing job really bringing these issues to the fore, really articulating these issues through different exercises, new ways of seeing things.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Avi and Luna Booket joined an advanced cohort in 2024. Been under their noses all along.

SPEAKER_04 22:02

Yeah, I mean it was the Fabrangin model, you know, and that's the beauty of M54. They're showing you in a down-to-earth language, in a language that's more accessible to all of us, what's right there from a Fabringon, from a Nigan, from a Sika, a Mimer. It's all right there.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Bookit says he saw immediate results.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

I became more organized and intentional with my schedule and able to set the correct boundaries. And I'm taking smaller steps, more focused, intentional steps in my day-to-day. M54 has definitely helped in making this journey a healthier way of sustaining our schluchas.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

The Brandeis 2026 spring semester ended on May 17th. While classes were still underway, I spoke with Bella Shotskis, a second-year political science major. These are not unusual Chabad on campus experiences. What Bella didn't know was that she'd be in the first group of students to experience Chabad Brandeis 360, a program for students based on the M54 model.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Chabad 360 is for students trying to build a relationship with their Judaism that they can then take past the college world. We this past semester have focused on Kabbalah Ol, which is accepting the mitzvot. How do we make it that you want to continue to accept the mitzvot onto yourself and accept Hashem into your life?

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Bella says the Khan's approach made it easier for her to consider taking on mitzvahs she otherwise might not have.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

And it's definitely something that I'm going to take with me for the next couple of years and the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

My name is Elliot.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

I spoke with Elliot Bakrak as the spring 2026 semester drew to a close. He's studying theater arts with minors in Yiddish and Judaic studies. He first met the Khanes in the fall of 2022, about a year after Elliot had major surgery during the first semester of his freshman year.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

It was my first semester back from brain surgery, and um I was introduced to Parrots by Khani, and I remember him looking to my eyes and just saying, wow, that must have been a really difficult experience. It's amazing that you were able to get through that. In that moment, I just felt seen. I was struggling. That semester I was I was behind in a lot of schoolwork because I didn't get to finish my first year of college or even my first semester, but they went out of their way to make me feel welcome whenever the circumstances were not great for me.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Elliot's father is a convert, and his mother is not Jewish. Before college, he attended Catholic school.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

I think we lit the menorah twice growing up, so we didn't even do Khanukah.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

But now Elliot keeps kosher, keeps Shabbas, and is strongly considering an Orthodox conversion. His relationship with the Khaints has allowed him to learn and to live his passion for Judaism.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

So much of my Yiddishkeit is rooted in my experiences with Khanian parents. They're pretty much like my Jewish parents.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Eliot was also among the first Chabad Brandeis 360 students, which has helped him realize that Chabad, at its essence, is so much more than a wonderful five-course Shabbos meal.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

You know, inner work, and something that Kani says all the time.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Elliot is on track to graduate in 2027. He says he hopes to someday raise his own Jewish family. Now that the semester is over, the Khanes are running their latest M54 cohort and promoting their new interactive board game, Let's Far Brang. They're also working on a book featuring essays by Chabad Schluchem about their own Avoda Panemis journeys.

SPEAKER_05 27:05

I mean, our fantasy is to make Avaida Panemis universal, to bring this practice and this value to the larger Jewish world. We think that this is the last calling of the Rebbe in the Maime of Atat Titzaba.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

You've shared your educational model with so many people, but I have to ask, has the inner work you're teaching also changed you?

SPEAKER_05 27:28

Unquestionably. I've applied it to fundraising, to the anxieties that I have around fundraising.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

Yes, I'll say Amain. Also, it has extraordinarily transformed the way we are with each other, our children, our students, alumni, to really be reflective and curious and courageous.

SPEAKER_05 27:47

Courageous. I'll say it again, courageous. Courageous, distinctive, individualistic. The reason the Abersta created you was because there was something unique about your observance and your interpretation of Yiddishkaid that was necessary.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Rabbi Avi Bukit has known that for a long time. But with the help of Rabbi Peretz and Rabbitzin Khani Khain, Bukit says he's been able to more effectively internalize that message.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

Schluchus is not for a Superman. Schluchus is a very human and real experience that the Rebbe of Blessed Memory asked each and every one of us to take part of. That in order to impact others, we must first be impacted as well. And by inspiring ourselves, we will inspire others.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

I'm Gary Wallach. Thanks for listening to Lamplighters, stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. We welcome your questions and comments about what you've just heard on Lamplighters. Please email us at podcast at lubavich.com. And if you know of a great story involving Chabad emissaries or the people they inspire, please let us know about them. That's podcast at L U B A V I T C H dot com. To subscribe digitally to Lubavitch International Magazine or to receive it at your doorstep, please visit Lubavitch.com slash subscribe. Lamp Lighters is a project of Machne Israel, the social services arm of Chabad Lubavitch.